‘Allo. I write a blog under the nom de guerre Luther von Wolfen. I follow no schedule and I tend to digress, all the while employing various impromptu slang, inconsistent abbreviations, idioms in languages that I don’t speak, poorly constructed opinionations, and generally sloppy thinking. My theme, if there was one, would be my experiences as I stumble toward becoming a rostered pastor in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, which is still something that I sometimes think is pretty fuggin’ weird, since I didn’t plan it and certainly didn’t expect it. My call experience is very much John 15:16 – I also tend to refer to chapter and verse and not give the quote because how hard is it for you to google it yerself?
I’m 51, white, male (though I identify as a trans-lesbian, since that’s a thing that people do now – I don’t have dysphoria, so I don’t feel compelled to transition, but I do count myself among the LGBTQ). I’m a recovering alcoholic (sober since 26 Feb, 1998) and I have chronic depressive disorder and major reoccurring depressive disorder with psychotic features which I treat with medication. I had a serious bout with depression earlier this year, after I left the restaurant where I was unhappy for six years – that’s worth a paragraph.
My unhappiness bled out into negative interactions with co-workers (including co-owners, since I was one of seven owners of the place), culminating in a meeting that ended with most of them stating they didn’t want me there and me deciding to quit. I went into a depression hole for a week or two. Pretty serious. Then Shrove Tuesday happened and I decided to give up for Lent – just give up. Give everything to God and let him fucking deal with it. The result was that the depression evaporated. Then covid hit. The homeless shelter that I volunteered at occasionally suddenly lost access to their volunteer pool and had to hire new people. I got hired, discovered that I love working with homeless people, and I’ve been pretty goshdarn okay since. Our shelter operates during the cold months because that’s when we have funding, so I’ve been laid off during the summer. I picked up some labor jobs and wasn’t worried.
A lot of people are suffering in the world, but I ain’t one of ’em. The very real problems that are racking the world right now are not affecting me. I am fully aware, but not dragged down. I’m also not surprised – though I’m not in a depression hole, I still have depression and I have fully embraced the phenomenon known as “depressive realism”. I don’t live in the usual delusion that things are okay, so I’m not surprised when it turns out they ain’t. I didn’t expect a global pandemic to happen this year, but I knew such a thing was possible. I’ve been paying attention to politics, so I’m not really shocked when Trump tells white supremacist militias to “stand by”. The riots this year make sense to me – actually, I don’t understand why people aren’t rioting a lot more often. I fully expect and I’m prepared for widespread violence after the election in November. I don’t mean “prepared” like I’ve got food and ammo in the basement. I mean psychologically prepared.
2020 looks like end times. Maybe it is, maybe not. I don’t believe any predictions about the end. Jesus said we wouldn’t know when it was gonna happen and I take Him at His word. Revelations is a great book, but it’s not a coded time-table. My job as a Christian is to proclaim the good news and alleviate the suffering whenever possible. Whatever happens will happen.
I live in Virginia. I have two cats. I’m buying a little house and I drive an old truck. I like hiking. I’m politically pretty progressive – lately, I’ve started thinking that democratic socialism is my jam. I’m single, not really looking. I have a daughter who goes to school in a sleepy little college town that got famous when a racist drove a car into a bunch of protesters, injuring several and killing one. I haven’t seen the girl in person for months because of covid, but we Zoom talk frequently. She’s of the LGBTQ also.
Here’s some podcasts I listen to – https://www.cafeteriachristian.club/, http://irenicast.com/, https://www.blessedarethefeminists.com/. This is also good – http://queergrace.com/. For music, I dig old time, pre-war country blues and gospel, free jazz, punk, noise rock, obscure psychedelia, klezmer, riot grrrl, queercore and other unpopular forms. I read nonfiction – history, theology, anthropology, science and anything related to pandemics, epidemics and disasters. Right now, I’m in Simon Winchester’s Krakatoa – one disaster we haven’t had in 2020 is a world-shaking volcanic eruption. There’s still time. Also, Finnegans Wake – I read that continuously, with intermissions for other stuff. I like movies that don’t insult my intelligence which are few and far between. I recently watched “Bethany Hamilton: Unstoppable” and followed it with the movie about Hamilton, “Soul Surfer”, both of which were great. I do little watercolors, which I keep here – https://www.deviantart.com/luthervanwolfen/gallery. I’ve got a buncha recent stuff to upload when I get to a decent scanner. Banksy is the artist I’m most into right now. He does smart work.
This is the picture I use for all online activities –
It’s a creepy little opossum, praying. I love opossums.
Okay, then. I felt like I should re-introduce meself since I hain’t done that in a while. Now I’ve done it.
Yesterday, we loaded in and mostly set up gear for the shelter. We’ll be re-opening soon at a church camp out in the county – the homeless will ride school buses out to the camp. Today, I’ll be stripping and priming doors at a friend’s house in a different part of the county. My Savage .410/.22 over/under needs work, so I’ll take that and I have no doubt there will be shooting. The orange tabby is curled up with his tail over his nose. I don’t know where the mackerel tabby is.
God is with us. We are fully redeemed through Jesus. Death has no hold on us. We can rejoice.