Beetheism

So I work at a homeless shelter, usually on the overnight shift, which is not as interesting as the evening shift, though that ain’t a bad thing. I’m here now, sitting at the monitor desk. There’s a few people up. Not much. I started messing around on some discussion site a week or two ago, answering questions, commenting on stuff. Gradually, or not really so gradually, it started to take up more of my nights, and I found myself involved in petty, back-and-forth snits with atheists and Trump supporters and then I realized “That’s what social media does”, because I been through this already. I used to have a Facebook. I didn’t do as much with mine as a lotta people, but I did anything with it at all, which means it had some negative impact. So I deleted the account and never regretted it. I am slightly happier and have more peace because I quit Facebook. So I’m done with that discussion site and eventually I won’t get notices that people did whatever they did. Quitting social media is like walking after you take the rock out of your shoe.

But I did find myself laying on the sofa today, not fully awake, and I thought of a metaphor for atheists and then later, in the truck, I thought of another, so I’ma present them here and then the whole sorry thing will be over.

An atheist is like a man who goes to IKEA and buys a coffee table. He takes it home, reads the instructions, and does the opposite of what the instructions say. After a while, he gets angry and sets the table parts, the instructions and the box they came in on fire. As they burn, he says “There is no Sweden.”

Again, an atheist is like a man who attends a free concert in a park – an orchestra performing symphonies by Beethoven. The man sits in the third row, wearing headphones with dubstep playing as loud as possible, so that he can’t hear the orchestra. All through the concert he tweets:

“sheeple think beetoven so great are stupid, beethoven sux #Beethovensucks #Ihatebeethoven”

“Beethoven music sounds like a deaf guy wrote #Sickburn #Beethovensucks #Deafbeethoven”

“u know who liked beethoven? Nazis liked Beethovem #Beethovenishitler #Beethovensucks”

“i’m somuch smarter than all these stupid people who beleive in beethoven #Nobeethoven”

It occurred to me later that there is even less actual proof of the existence of Beethoven than of God, so that last isn’t even silly.